My New Publication: Old Black Lady Tings
And yes folks, don't let this melanin fool you, I'm getting old ....
I turned 50 during the pandemic and things being the “social distancing” way they were, I celebrated in the privacy of my home with my loved ones. My husband, children, mum, sisters, and friends covered me with the most lavish gifts, and my best friend Elena, sent me 50 beautiful white roses in a humungous vase - you should have seen me, as clumsy as I am, trying obsessively not to break it and create a tsunami on my black wooden floors. Yeah, and about black floors, whoever had that crazy idea in the first place? With two white fur pets out of four - yeah that’s another aberration, four pets, trotting across the floors day in and day out, I constantly find myself vacuuming those floors. And why four pets, because I have an aspiring vet at home, my lovely daughter Roxanne, but here I digress.
Coming back to the huge ass vase - so yeah, it took me at least 10 minutes to move it around each time. I moved it because I was becoming an old lady already you see. Whenever I placed it somewhere, I was convinced it would look nicer somewhere else. So then I rolled up my sleeves, held my breath, and started pulling the huge, water-filled vase across the floor - again and again. I think my husband and kids just looked at me and shook their heads when I wasn’t looking.
So yeah, 50 came and went and now I’m going on 53, and every day I engage in old Black lady tings. I guess you’re curious about what that might be. Well, it’s about forgetfulness, silly mistakes, memory loss, dwindling sex appeal, anxiety, pee anxiety, slower metabolism and lesser calorie intake, and also facing ageism with grace and humor at times, menopause, and a tonne of other things that you might not consider old lady things but are.
In my other blog, Diary of a Black Woman in a White World, I write about racism - it’s so darn depressing sometimes. Here, the tone will be lighter, funnier even, and those who are paid subscribers to my Diary of a Black Woman in a White World get a complimentary 3-month subscription to this newsletter here. Why? Well you see, it’s all about balance, and I want my readers, those who so kindly support me to see another side of me. Yes, there’s racism, but there’s also love and life and funny things that happen to me as well. I want to write about them too. So welcome to this first piece - I hope you’ll enjoy following me on my adventures and also share your own experiences.
The frequency will be once a week - I’m not sure you’d want to hear from an old Black lady more than that … lol. I would really appreciate it if you could become a paid subscriber because the way things are going right now, my age is my least attractive asset in the working world, even though I truly love getting older.
Happy reading folks, and know that I wake up each day ever so grateful that you are reading my work. Some of the pieces that I’ll be writing about in the coming weeks include:
I’m Getting Too Old For This
What Is It With Young Men and Old Black Ladies?
The Joys Of Life Without Tampons or Sanitary Pads
Why I Don’t Care About The Western Narrative That Says I’m Old and Useless
Wow, I Just Got Carded And I’m 53
To Cover Up or Not To Cover Up Grey Hairs
And Suddenly, Cellulite Made Its Appearance
Where Is My Phone Again?
Oh Shit, I Forgot Another Appointment?
When Did I Start Making Old People Sounds When I Sit Down?
I Just Realized I Brought This Blouse 2x
Excuse Me Folks, I’m Having A Senior Moment
Hmmm, I Think I’m Gonna Need To Book Assistance For This Flight
Why I Need to Watch Every Single Step I Take
Wow, How Much Longer Do I Need To Scroll Down To Find My DOB
I Don’t Think I’ll Be Able To Survive A Sleepless Night Ever Again
I Guess I’m Getting Too Old To Care
I Could Swear That Wrinkle Wasn’t On My Head Yesterday
A 70-Year-Old Just Gave Birth To Twins, What About Me?
What Worries Me Most About Getting Older
I’m Pretty Much Half Way Through At This Point, I’d Better Make This Life Worth It
Thanks To Melanin, I’m Not As Young As You Think, I’m Much Older
Look out for these articles and more over the coming months, and take out a paid subscription to support this old Black lady. Thank you.